Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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