Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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