is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
false alarm, still single
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
