I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
