I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You pole danced in your parka.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
