Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
