You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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