Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
