I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize