I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
