Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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