Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
