I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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