im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
