it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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