So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
