At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
