She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
