we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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