I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
