Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
