I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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