it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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