Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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