Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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