put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
