I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
