Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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