thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
