OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize