Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
