I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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