How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
