oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
