Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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