No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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