you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
