Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
