Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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