My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
