I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
