I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
