He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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