I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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