what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
