Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
