if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
