Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
