Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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