I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
