i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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