Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
