She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
