I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Randomize
