We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
