ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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