He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
