Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Two words: blizzard sex
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
