It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
whose ass print is on the piano?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
