Pappa wants mamma naked
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
