i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
