Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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