I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
