sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
