So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
