For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
