it was like his penis was on wheels.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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