I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
